Two-Thousand and Ten

Hello 2010! Well, we've got some pretty big decisions ahead of us, don't we? How are we going to pronounce our new year? Is it Two-Thousand Ten? Or do we call it Twenty-ten? (Personally speaking, I like Two-Thousand Ten--2010 sounds like some sort of deep sea fishing expedition to me--I know that makes ZERO sense, but that's what's in my head, okay?)

Last night was New years Eve, pretty much a great night all around. The following highlights have gotten this brand new decade off to a great start!

Highlight # 1.

You see, a few months ago, I spent the night at my friend Dan's place. I feel the need to say that nothing happened between us, (as if you read a little bit farther on, I'm about to make myself sound like a gigantic slut). I stayed over at Dan's after a long night of binge drinking. I woke up the next morning, and simply went home in his clothing. No big deal. Because we are great friends, Dan was not worried about his clothing, as he knew he'd get it back from me. It took me six months, but when I arrived at Dan's apartment for his New Year's party, I was ready in my party dress, with boys clothing in hand. Dan reached into the bag of clothing I had brought and first pulled out his shorts, and then his shirt. Dan looked up at me, confused and said, "Uhh--this isn't my shirt." I said, "of course it is!" Dan said, "no really--this isn't my shirt--you brought me some other guy's shirt." Um...whoops? I had literally gotten confused between boys' shirts and had accidentally given Dan the shirt of a former one-night stander. I could not have made myself look any sluttier if I had tried. Can I get away with, it happens to the best of us?

Highlight # 2.

After leaving Dan's party, I headed to Matt's party, another good friend from high school. After greeting my friends , I walked straight towards where the music was playing. I didn't like the song that was currently playing, and felt the need to change the music up. I walked over to Matt's computer, ready to put on the song that I wanted to hear, when I noticed a sign. The sign read, "LAUREN, DO NOT TOUCH THE MUSIC." Matt anticipated, and he was right. Pretty good, Matt, pretty good.

Highlight # 3

Katie-kiwi. Katie-kiwi is one of my best friends from college. She came to New York and spent New years with me! Katie had a blasty-blast, until I had to take her home because I found her, up against a wall, making out with a boy seven inches shorter than her, with her skirt pulled up all the way to her tits. Time to go home, Katie. Once back at my apartment, Katie passed out on my living room chair, fully clothed, with a chopped salad in her lap. Later, a friend had asked, "Who was that girl at the party who was trying to bite everyone?" I didn't have to think twice about that one. It was Katie-kiwi, and she strikes (bites) again.