I have said it before, and I'll say it again: Being in your 20's is this sort of strange phenomenon. We may all be in the same age demographic--but everyone seems to be moving at a very different pace. Case and point: Not only do I still doodle Mrs. Lauren Perry on spare pieces of paper (That's Luke's last name in case you weren't sure). I still fret daily over boys that I meet in alcohol induced stupors. Does he like me? Will he text me? What did he mean when he said nice to meet you? And, if I do receive a text message from a bar crush, I must consult at least four friends before any response can be sent. Similarly, other girls my age are making seating arrangements, picking out china patterns, and deciding on floral arrangements for their weddings. Yup, we're totally on the same page.
Today was a semi-milestone in my life. I attended my first bridal shower for one of my childhood friends. It was a lovely party, but none the less--extremely surreal. Heather walked into the room, looking adorable, and tearful from the surprise. Her whole entrance into the room gave me the chills. (I know, everything gives me the chills.) But really, my entire leg hair(s) grew back simultaneously with her arrival. As I looked at Heather, her tiny frame, her young looking face, I could not help but think--this is a friend that I have had since I was seven years old. And, she is actually old enough to have a husband. Technically, that makes me old enough to have a husband. I have been married on facebook now for the past four years. (I know, that's almost like a real marriage). I don't remember why or how Jay (my facebook husband) and I decided to announce our faux nuptials via facebook--but here we are four years later...still married. This was all in good fun. Until now... In the past year, I have received six e-mails from old college friends, who I had fallen out of touch with--congratulating me on my wedding. My wedding!? Excuse me? Is it time to get a facebook divorce?
While Heather unwrapped her gifts, all the women (ages 50 +) ooohed and ahhed over flatware and glass bowls. I don't think that I'm ready for that. Although to be fair, I'm not sure that I will ever be ready to oooh and aahh over glassware. Note to my future bridesmaids/fellow shower goers: At my wedding shower, please buy me the following items: the complete 90210 DVD set, a lifetime supply of ketchup, and an all expense paid shopping spree to Urban Outfitters, American Apparel, H&M, and Forever21. If I have learned anything from this small milestone of today, it is that it's okay to be in different life places at different times. After all, to each their own--right?
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
May Twenty-Sixth
I think it can become pretty easy to take for granted how well we know our friends. When you know someone really well, you come to accept, and even love all of the idiosyncrasies that make us individuals. Close friends know each other's habits, (like coming home and watching 90210 every day while eating an ice cream sundae). Their likes, (grilled chicken, string cheese salads, rainbows and watermelon), their dislikes (math), what makes that person happy, (sunshine, sleepaway camp and ketchup),what makes that person sad, (highschool's end seven years ago) and even what makes that person angry (freakshow students). We just get those things about each other. The quirks that you love your friends for, and those that they love you right back--just might be the very same things that are confusing, odd and just plain frightening to a stranger.
An example of this: If you were to walk into my bedroom right now--you might think that a twelve year old girl,(possibly a lesbian) circa de 1991 lives inside. There is a large rainbow colored flag on the wall, a polka-dotted rainbow blanket on my bed, and a life size poster of Luke Perry on the wall next to my bed. But alas, looks can be deceiving--there is no 12 year old living inside those walls, just a 25 year old living in 2009. For those that know me well, seeing these things in my bedroom would not surprise you at all, but for someone who does not know me as well--these are the very things that could send a person running!
I may sometimes take for granted my friends genuine acceptance, and understanding of me, and my many quirks. However, as for the likes of a pseudo stranger--that may not be the case. It is hard for me to go into further detail without becoming too tactless, or compromising my integrity. So, I will leave you with a short, but important moral of the story. If you meet someone in a bar, perhaps a gentleman suitor-- and bring them home with you--your life size poster of a 90's pop icon may scare them, just a little.
An example of this: If you were to walk into my bedroom right now--you might think that a twelve year old girl,(possibly a lesbian) circa de 1991 lives inside. There is a large rainbow colored flag on the wall, a polka-dotted rainbow blanket on my bed, and a life size poster of Luke Perry on the wall next to my bed. But alas, looks can be deceiving--there is no 12 year old living inside those walls, just a 25 year old living in 2009. For those that know me well, seeing these things in my bedroom would not surprise you at all, but for someone who does not know me as well--these are the very things that could send a person running!
I may sometimes take for granted my friends genuine acceptance, and understanding of me, and my many quirks. However, as for the likes of a pseudo stranger--that may not be the case. It is hard for me to go into further detail without becoming too tactless, or compromising my integrity. So, I will leave you with a short, but important moral of the story. If you meet someone in a bar, perhaps a gentleman suitor-- and bring them home with you--your life size poster of a 90's pop icon may scare them, just a little.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Fair View Lake Thirty Three and a Third
The moment I have been waiting for is finally here. I am well rested. (Took a four hour nap). I am finally clean. (Took my first shower in three days). But most importantly, I am back--from the woods--with thirty-six fourth graders. The trip to Fair View Lake truly was the best of times, and the worst of times. And, I would like to recap this two night-three day adventure with all of you.
The trip began back in Brooklyn. I stood by the door, "checking in" each student and their luggage.Throughout this process, I was asked by nine different kids why I was I...A). dressed funny B). wearing my pajamas and C). looked weird. Dontcha just love kids? ( Sidenote:I was wearing a sweatshirt, leggings and a headband.) What did they expect-- for me to arrive dressed in an evening gown to go camping?
After forty-five minutes of chaotic play on the playground, we were off, and on our way on the two hour bus ride to Fair View Lake, located in Newton, New Jersey. My impending doom was upon us.
Upon arrival at Fair View Lake's spacious camp grounds, we dispersed into our designated cabins. My roommates for the next three days would be five girls: Jane, Kristi, Laura, Lindsay and Britt. The girls, all best friends, decided that they wanted to give our bunk a name. Perfect, I thought--we're really bonding now. They decided to call themselves "The Tomboys." From that point on, whenever I needed to gather my girls in a jiffy, I would call out..."Tomboys, over hereee." Something about that was mildly hilarious to me. Even better than having a cabin refer to themselves as the tomboys...is actually being given an explanation on the vast differences between being a tomboy and being a girly-girl. The girls told me that I was definitely a girly-girl. Here's why: 1. I have bangs. 2. I sometimes wear dresses 3. I like pink, and 4. I have my ears pierced. (seven times). Glad we got that straightened out. Even though, I'm a "girly-girl," the tomboys still accepted me with open arms, and treated me like one of their own. The tomboys # 1 mission on our trip was to make sure that no boys could see through our windows. They took the liberty of covering every single window in the cabin with pieces of notebook paper.There. Now, we were safe from those mischievous wandering eyes.
One of the best parts of the trip was meal time. Meals were the one semi-form of a break that we ("the grown-ups") had (in between giving the students their ADHD medicine). We used our meal time to recharge, eat smiley faced french fries and tell funny stories that had happened in our individual cabins. And believe me, there were plenty of funny stories to tell. One student, William (the avid conversationalist from the Ellis Island trip) talked in his sleep, loudly, having a conversation with himself for FIVE hours. That's not an exxageration, that was the painful truth for my teacher friend-Fran who lived in William's cabin. The next day, a group of boys, were eating ice cream at our ice-cream social..Ilana and I saw them "cheers-ing" with their bowls of ice cream..."to bunk beds!" they said as they clinked their icecream sundaes together. Now, there's something you don't see too often in a bar--cheers-ing to bunk beds. Think I'll try that one this weekend.
Something that surprised me in my own cabin was the openness that the girls chose to take around me. While getting ready for the shower, Kristi was walking around completely naked. While, I can appreciate that--as that is one of my favorite pastimes...I usually don't do it with my 4th grade math teacher present. Kristi looked at me and said, "I mean, we're all girls right?" I had to agree with her--tomboys or girly-girls--we were all girls none the less. However, I couldn't help but thinking that teaching long division to her will never the same again.
Among others, topic of conversation in the cabin revolved around deodorant. Who wore it, what kinds there were, what they smelled like, and how often it is used. All of this deodorant talk made me reminiscent about my first armpit hair. It was the summer going into 7th grade, I had no boobs and no period--but I had my armpit hair. I refused to shave it. I was proud of the small black bush that was beginning to develop beneath my underarms. Needless to say, when I got home from camp, and my mom saw what was going on under there, I quickly lost that hair and I've been armpit hair free since 1996.
Another really amazing thing about the trip was getting to hang out with the kids in a non-pressure, non-academic, fun, easy going setting. I raced against all of the 4th grade boys. (Rumors of my speed had surfaced). It was literally me, and eighteen 9 and 10 year olds on the start line. Guess who won? Yeah, I'm pretty fast--but I've also got a twelve inch lead in the length of my legs. I played soccer and basketball too! I competed in a sandcastle competition, and I got to do it all in my sofees and a white hanes tee. (My favorite Camp Schodack attire).
We went boating on Fair View Lake. Four boys approached me asking to be in their group, (thinking that I would be an asset as a rower). Instead I got my group stuck on rocks in between two trees, the boys screamed bloody murder, while I tried to release us from the rocks...only to be rescued by the on-duty lifeguard in her canoe.
The worst of times on this trip, were actually surprisingly far and few between, but none the less there were some. 1). Being woken at six am by the tomboys to tell me that there was a wild turkey outside. I don't give a shit. 2).Being woken every half hour on the first night by Laura, asking me what I would do to comfort her if she couldn't fall asleep. Nothing, Laura. 3). The swamp hike. I don't think I need to go into any further detail. 4). Sleeping a total of five hours in two nights, and literally feeling like a dead woman walking...luckily my second wind kicked in, just in time for s'mores and camp fire songs. Overall, Camp Fair View Lake was a success, but I am glad to be back! I can't wait to have me time, not be a mother to five tomboys, and sleep in a bed not made of metal. Until May, '10--see ya later Fair View Lake!
The trip began back in Brooklyn. I stood by the door, "checking in" each student and their luggage.Throughout this process, I was asked by nine different kids why I was I...A). dressed funny B). wearing my pajamas and C). looked weird. Dontcha just love kids? ( Sidenote:I was wearing a sweatshirt, leggings and a headband.) What did they expect-- for me to arrive dressed in an evening gown to go camping?
After forty-five minutes of chaotic play on the playground, we were off, and on our way on the two hour bus ride to Fair View Lake, located in Newton, New Jersey. My impending doom was upon us.
Upon arrival at Fair View Lake's spacious camp grounds, we dispersed into our designated cabins. My roommates for the next three days would be five girls: Jane, Kristi, Laura, Lindsay and Britt. The girls, all best friends, decided that they wanted to give our bunk a name. Perfect, I thought--we're really bonding now. They decided to call themselves "The Tomboys." From that point on, whenever I needed to gather my girls in a jiffy, I would call out..."Tomboys, over hereee." Something about that was mildly hilarious to me. Even better than having a cabin refer to themselves as the tomboys...is actually being given an explanation on the vast differences between being a tomboy and being a girly-girl. The girls told me that I was definitely a girly-girl. Here's why: 1. I have bangs. 2. I sometimes wear dresses 3. I like pink, and 4. I have my ears pierced. (seven times). Glad we got that straightened out. Even though, I'm a "girly-girl," the tomboys still accepted me with open arms, and treated me like one of their own. The tomboys # 1 mission on our trip was to make sure that no boys could see through our windows. They took the liberty of covering every single window in the cabin with pieces of notebook paper.There. Now, we were safe from those mischievous wandering eyes.
One of the best parts of the trip was meal time. Meals were the one semi-form of a break that we ("the grown-ups") had (in between giving the students their ADHD medicine). We used our meal time to recharge, eat smiley faced french fries and tell funny stories that had happened in our individual cabins. And believe me, there were plenty of funny stories to tell. One student, William (the avid conversationalist from the Ellis Island trip) talked in his sleep, loudly, having a conversation with himself for FIVE hours. That's not an exxageration, that was the painful truth for my teacher friend-Fran who lived in William's cabin. The next day, a group of boys, were eating ice cream at our ice-cream social..Ilana and I saw them "cheers-ing" with their bowls of ice cream..."to bunk beds!" they said as they clinked their icecream sundaes together. Now, there's something you don't see too often in a bar--cheers-ing to bunk beds. Think I'll try that one this weekend.
Something that surprised me in my own cabin was the openness that the girls chose to take around me. While getting ready for the shower, Kristi was walking around completely naked. While, I can appreciate that--as that is one of my favorite pastimes...I usually don't do it with my 4th grade math teacher present. Kristi looked at me and said, "I mean, we're all girls right?" I had to agree with her--tomboys or girly-girls--we were all girls none the less. However, I couldn't help but thinking that teaching long division to her will never the same again.
Among others, topic of conversation in the cabin revolved around deodorant. Who wore it, what kinds there were, what they smelled like, and how often it is used. All of this deodorant talk made me reminiscent about my first armpit hair. It was the summer going into 7th grade, I had no boobs and no period--but I had my armpit hair. I refused to shave it. I was proud of the small black bush that was beginning to develop beneath my underarms. Needless to say, when I got home from camp, and my mom saw what was going on under there, I quickly lost that hair and I've been armpit hair free since 1996.
Another really amazing thing about the trip was getting to hang out with the kids in a non-pressure, non-academic, fun, easy going setting. I raced against all of the 4th grade boys. (Rumors of my speed had surfaced). It was literally me, and eighteen 9 and 10 year olds on the start line. Guess who won? Yeah, I'm pretty fast--but I've also got a twelve inch lead in the length of my legs. I played soccer and basketball too! I competed in a sandcastle competition, and I got to do it all in my sofees and a white hanes tee. (My favorite Camp Schodack attire).
We went boating on Fair View Lake. Four boys approached me asking to be in their group, (thinking that I would be an asset as a rower). Instead I got my group stuck on rocks in between two trees, the boys screamed bloody murder, while I tried to release us from the rocks...only to be rescued by the on-duty lifeguard in her canoe.
The worst of times on this trip, were actually surprisingly far and few between, but none the less there were some. 1). Being woken at six am by the tomboys to tell me that there was a wild turkey outside. I don't give a shit. 2).Being woken every half hour on the first night by Laura, asking me what I would do to comfort her if she couldn't fall asleep. Nothing, Laura. 3). The swamp hike. I don't think I need to go into any further detail. 4). Sleeping a total of five hours in two nights, and literally feeling like a dead woman walking...luckily my second wind kicked in, just in time for s'mores and camp fire songs. Overall, Camp Fair View Lake was a success, but I am glad to be back! I can't wait to have me time, not be a mother to five tomboys, and sleep in a bed not made of metal. Until May, '10--see ya later Fair View Lake!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Camp Fair View Lake...Here I come!
Why is it that just when I feel like I have reached my breaking point...When I feel like I just can't take anymore...Like all of the patience that I have left could rest on my pinky toe...Just when I can't break up one more fist fight (and consequently get punched in the left tit), Just when I can't ask Fred to stop gargling water at the sink while I am trying to teach a lesson...Just when I can't tell Matthew NINE times that snack time has ended twenty minutes ago, and to put his freaking snack away...Just when I can't tell Pedro to stop crying over spilt milk (literally), untied shoelaces, boring math homework, and Christian's humming. (Man the fuck up, Pedro). I have to go on a Three Day overnight camping trip with my students come this Monday. Camp Fair View Lake, here I motherfucking come...
Each year the 4th grade heads to Newton, New Jersey to Camp Fair View Lake for a luxurious two day, three night vacation. And by vacation, I do mean just barely surviving unfathomable emotional and physical pain. The children look forward to this trip all year long. They mentally prepare for the amount of fun that they are going to have. I mentally prepare too. On the different ways that I can get out of going on this trip...Only to realize that there is no way out. I am stuck...and for the third consecutive year in a row, I will be there...with or without a small flask of Bacardi.
Each year, I try to call friends and family (for moral support), standing outside of the gnat infested bunk, with my cell phone held high above my head at 11:30 pm, when the kids have FINALLY fallen asleep after a 17 hour day. And, just when I need that moral support the most, I am cut off, as there is 1/27th of cell phone reception at Fair View Lake. With this righteous journey upon me, I thought that I would try and get back into the spirit, and enlighten all of you, on what it is like to go on a three day overnight trip with your students. Below you will find a list of memorable moments from years past, some have made me laugh, some have made me cry. Please, keep right on reading.
1. Being woken at 5:45 am by Tracy, telling me that there was one deer standing outside the bunk. Wide eyed, oooohs and ahhhs heard all throughout the cabin. Really? I've almost hit about 17 deer with my car. Sorry, no thanks. And, thank you so very much for waking me to tell me.
2. Matthew threw up on the bus ride, and didn't tell anyone...The teachers only realized the upchuck, as the bus slowly began to linger with the smell of fruity Doritos.
3.Last year, it poured for the full two nights and three days that we were there. Does Camp Fair View Lake have excellent indoor facilities? Nope. Instead we did archery, played baseball and went boating...in FREEZING rain. Afterwards, the girls living in my bunk thought that it would be funny to prank me; and put shaving cream...in my ONLY dry pair of sneakers. Listen girls, I know where you sleep.
4. I watched as Alana lay on the floor, so that she could peer underneath Lizzie's towel as she stepped out of the shower.
5. Helping Nick to change his underwear because he peed his pants (during wax candle making!?!?)
6. Not showering or pooping for three days.
7. Collecting samples of moss, algae, pollen and ragweed in the rain. Oh, don't worry my seasonal allergies never fared better!
8. And finally, the brilliant idea of serving ice cream sundaes to 36 ADHD children at 9:30 pm.
Stay tuned, for Camp Fair View Lake Part III.
Each year the 4th grade heads to Newton, New Jersey to Camp Fair View Lake for a luxurious two day, three night vacation. And by vacation, I do mean just barely surviving unfathomable emotional and physical pain. The children look forward to this trip all year long. They mentally prepare for the amount of fun that they are going to have. I mentally prepare too. On the different ways that I can get out of going on this trip...Only to realize that there is no way out. I am stuck...and for the third consecutive year in a row, I will be there...with or without a small flask of Bacardi.
Each year, I try to call friends and family (for moral support), standing outside of the gnat infested bunk, with my cell phone held high above my head at 11:30 pm, when the kids have FINALLY fallen asleep after a 17 hour day. And, just when I need that moral support the most, I am cut off, as there is 1/27th of cell phone reception at Fair View Lake. With this righteous journey upon me, I thought that I would try and get back into the spirit, and enlighten all of you, on what it is like to go on a three day overnight trip with your students. Below you will find a list of memorable moments from years past, some have made me laugh, some have made me cry. Please, keep right on reading.
1. Being woken at 5:45 am by Tracy, telling me that there was one deer standing outside the bunk. Wide eyed, oooohs and ahhhs heard all throughout the cabin. Really? I've almost hit about 17 deer with my car. Sorry, no thanks. And, thank you so very much for waking me to tell me.
2. Matthew threw up on the bus ride, and didn't tell anyone...The teachers only realized the upchuck, as the bus slowly began to linger with the smell of fruity Doritos.
3.Last year, it poured for the full two nights and three days that we were there. Does Camp Fair View Lake have excellent indoor facilities? Nope. Instead we did archery, played baseball and went boating...in FREEZING rain. Afterwards, the girls living in my bunk thought that it would be funny to prank me; and put shaving cream...in my ONLY dry pair of sneakers. Listen girls, I know where you sleep.
4. I watched as Alana lay on the floor, so that she could peer underneath Lizzie's towel as she stepped out of the shower.
5. Helping Nick to change his underwear because he peed his pants (during wax candle making!?!?)
6. Not showering or pooping for three days.
7. Collecting samples of moss, algae, pollen and ragweed in the rain. Oh, don't worry my seasonal allergies never fared better!
8. And finally, the brilliant idea of serving ice cream sundaes to 36 ADHD children at 9:30 pm.
Stay tuned, for Camp Fair View Lake Part III.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The future Mr. and Mrs. Spencer Pratt
For those of you Hills enthusiasts, (and those of you who have been to any supermarket/drug store over the past week) know that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were married (for real this time) just a couple of weeks ago. The thought of these nuptials actually make me want to upchuck. Furthermore, I strongly feel that Speidi (while amazingly entertaining) may be the actual worst, most heinous couple of all time...and with that...enter Charlie...
Charlie, a small, blond hair, blue eyed boy in the third grade is head over heels in love with Stacey, a small blond hair, blue eyed girl in the third grade. For the past three days, Charlie has been walking around with a magazine picture of Heidi and Spencer's wedding in the pocket of his jeans. While Charlie has absolutely no idea who this couple is, (only that they share the same eye and hair color,) Charlie looked up at me and smiled, as he proudly said..."See...(pointing to the Speidi wedding picture)..."that's gonna be me and Stacey one day when we grow up."
For the sake of you and Stacey, let's all hope not.
Charlie, a small, blond hair, blue eyed boy in the third grade is head over heels in love with Stacey, a small blond hair, blue eyed girl in the third grade. For the past three days, Charlie has been walking around with a magazine picture of Heidi and Spencer's wedding in the pocket of his jeans. While Charlie has absolutely no idea who this couple is, (only that they share the same eye and hair color,) Charlie looked up at me and smiled, as he proudly said..."See...(pointing to the Speidi wedding picture)..."that's gonna be me and Stacey one day when we grow up."
For the sake of you and Stacey, let's all hope not.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Hello May!
It sure has a been a while since I've written...but what can I say? I've been super busy with the thirteen collective assignments that I had to hand in for grad school over the past week. I sure worked hard, but that doesn't really make for an interesting blog entry, now does it? And now that I'm free, I'm ready for my weekend to begin!
Have you ever gone disco bowling at nine am? Didn't think so. But, guess who has?
Yesterday, the third and fourth grades loaded up the buses, and were on our way to Memory Lanes to bowl our hearts away. (Just in case you were wondering, I bowled a 130). I'm pretty sure that my dad will be proud. Nothing brings out light heartedness, smiles and chuckles quite like a morning bowl. The kids were having the freaking time of their lives! The disco lights were on, and High School Musical blared in the background. I only knew one song, and felt disappointed that I could not join in, belting out lyrics, like the rest of 'em. But what can I say? These kids are down with High School Musical.
The kids were singing, dancing, and literally hurling bowling balls down the lane. I saw quite a few questionable bowling techniques...I also began to question something else. Is it okay that I occasionally wonder how my students feel about each other? In, ya know--like, a like-like sort of way? When I see a boy and a girl who spend a lot of time together, I think to myself--do they like each other? My instinct is to think,"nahhh," they are so young. But, then I remember that I had more boyfriends in elementary school than I've had in my adult life. (I know--not something to brag about). I watched one "couple"(Jeffand Lindsay) literally maul each other. They looked like mini adults--it was frightening. Or Hank and Jane who I caught holding hands on the bus ride home, gazing into each other's eyes.
These kids have it easy! Being 25, in NYC is not quite as easy as being romantically mauled in a bowling alley. To try and make this difficult process a little simpler, I have done something that I am about to admit to all of you, my loyal and faithful blog readers. I have joined Jdate. This decision was tri-fold. 1). I have appeased my mom on so many levels
2). My mom offered to pay the monthly fee
3). I've actually heard success stories, and thought that perhaps it is time that I let my cynical guard down.
While, Jdate has not exactly been my cup of tea--I decided to stick it out, at least for a month--and keep my options open. Two nights ago, I was on Jdate, (the website) when a super attractive 32 year old man imed me. Believe me friends, this is a rare occurrence. Usually, the ims that I receive are from 300 pound men, bald men or men under 5'2. Now, there is nothing wrong with any of these physical attributes, except for the fact that I am not bald, I am 5'6 and weigh just 180 pounds shy of 300. Needless to say these qualities are not my ideal physical matches. So, you can understand that when this total babe imed me--I was souped! It was too good to be true, and as I would soon find out...it was.
After Gentleman asked me how I was doing, Gentleman took it upon himself to tell me how he was doing. Short and to the point...he said, "I'm horny." To which I replied, "Oh."
I am all for sexually expressing yourself, but listen sexy, thirty-two year old, with amazing dimples, creep--I don't know you. We've never met. Maybe we should try learning a little more about each other, before you attempt to get laid. (Just an aside--as this was happening, I was wondering which of my friends could be pranking me).
Once I made it clear to sexy, thirty two year old, with amazing dimples creep, that we would be changing the subject, or I would be outta there... He complied, and asked another question..."What are you wearing?" "I'm horny, you?" and "What are you wearing?" were his next EIGHT ims. Finally, it was my cue to exit.
Leaving the Jdate website feeling mentally exhausted, and like I will never find a normal person on there, I realized this: This situation had a very familiar feel to it. Then I remembered one of my favorite former past times, AOL chat rooms, circa de 1998.
Have you ever gone disco bowling at nine am? Didn't think so. But, guess who has?
Yesterday, the third and fourth grades loaded up the buses, and were on our way to Memory Lanes to bowl our hearts away. (Just in case you were wondering, I bowled a 130). I'm pretty sure that my dad will be proud. Nothing brings out light heartedness, smiles and chuckles quite like a morning bowl. The kids were having the freaking time of their lives! The disco lights were on, and High School Musical blared in the background. I only knew one song, and felt disappointed that I could not join in, belting out lyrics, like the rest of 'em. But what can I say? These kids are down with High School Musical.
The kids were singing, dancing, and literally hurling bowling balls down the lane. I saw quite a few questionable bowling techniques...I also began to question something else. Is it okay that I occasionally wonder how my students feel about each other? In, ya know--like, a like-like sort of way? When I see a boy and a girl who spend a lot of time together, I think to myself--do they like each other? My instinct is to think,"nahhh," they are so young. But, then I remember that I had more boyfriends in elementary school than I've had in my adult life. (I know--not something to brag about). I watched one "couple"(Jeffand Lindsay) literally maul each other. They looked like mini adults--it was frightening. Or Hank and Jane who I caught holding hands on the bus ride home, gazing into each other's eyes.
These kids have it easy! Being 25, in NYC is not quite as easy as being romantically mauled in a bowling alley. To try and make this difficult process a little simpler, I have done something that I am about to admit to all of you, my loyal and faithful blog readers. I have joined Jdate. This decision was tri-fold. 1). I have appeased my mom on so many levels
2). My mom offered to pay the monthly fee
3). I've actually heard success stories, and thought that perhaps it is time that I let my cynical guard down.
While, Jdate has not exactly been my cup of tea--I decided to stick it out, at least for a month--and keep my options open. Two nights ago, I was on Jdate, (the website) when a super attractive 32 year old man imed me. Believe me friends, this is a rare occurrence. Usually, the ims that I receive are from 300 pound men, bald men or men under 5'2. Now, there is nothing wrong with any of these physical attributes, except for the fact that I am not bald, I am 5'6 and weigh just 180 pounds shy of 300. Needless to say these qualities are not my ideal physical matches. So, you can understand that when this total babe imed me--I was souped! It was too good to be true, and as I would soon find out...it was.
After Gentleman asked me how I was doing, Gentleman took it upon himself to tell me how he was doing. Short and to the point...he said, "I'm horny." To which I replied, "Oh."
I am all for sexually expressing yourself, but listen sexy, thirty-two year old, with amazing dimples, creep--I don't know you. We've never met. Maybe we should try learning a little more about each other, before you attempt to get laid. (Just an aside--as this was happening, I was wondering which of my friends could be pranking me).
Once I made it clear to sexy, thirty two year old, with amazing dimples creep, that we would be changing the subject, or I would be outta there... He complied, and asked another question..."What are you wearing?" "I'm horny, you?" and "What are you wearing?" were his next EIGHT ims. Finally, it was my cue to exit.
Leaving the Jdate website feeling mentally exhausted, and like I will never find a normal person on there, I realized this: This situation had a very familiar feel to it. Then I remembered one of my favorite former past times, AOL chat rooms, circa de 1998.
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