Nobody Likes You When You're Twenty-Three

Or do they? When Blink182 came out with the song, "What's my age again," back in 1999, they sure knew what they were talking about. Why is it that all of the boys that I meet lately are twenty-three (or twenty-four) years old? If age ain't nothin' but a number, how come it matters to me?

Single guys my own age can often times be immature, selfish, and still trying to get their shit together. (No offense, boys). So, you can see my concern. The younger you go--the scarier it can seem.

That being said. In my time as a single gal, I have not let age hold me back. (Well, to a degree anyway. I am not looking to meet a fifty year old, or a twenty year old either, for that matter). I have been open minded when it comes to age. I have hooked up with/dated older guys, younger guys, and guys my own age. (An aside: With one exception, this past winter I accidentally made out with someone born in the '90's. He had an English accent, I thought that he was older!! This event has scarred me for life).

Are the older boys not going out as often? Do the younger ones not know to leave the city on weekends in the summer time? Or, do I just attract a younger boy, because I myself look young? Last night I was saying goodbye to a close friend that is moving out of the city. (My first friend to leave NYC). After his party had died down, the rest of us went to celebrate Sheetly's birthday at a nearby bar. Accompanying Sheetal, was her younger brother and his tall handsome friends. This is when I realized that these tall handsomes were... sigh...only twenty-three. Oh...what could have been...

I have some experience in this arena, as I recently went on a four date stint with someone in this age range. (Twenty-four). A very attractive guy, with a super, fun personality--but there was something missing...and our age difference, though not huge, did come up in conversation, and yes. It did seem to matter. We have since gone our separate ways. I can't help but wonder if that age difference really did make an impact. I wonder if being in your twenties can be compared to your first few years of life, where every week, month and year counts. Both are time periods where many big changes occur in a small amount of time. And though, we are both in the post college phase of our journey...I am a little bit further along.

Recently, a close friend of mine told me that she had been semi-dating a forty-five year old man. Wow! Forty-five sounds like an actual, real man's age. (When my dad was forty-five, he was married with three kids, the oldest kid--sixteen). I asked my friend what it was like to date a much older guy. (Mostly, I was just curious what the sex was like). What she said surprised me. To her, it really felt no different than dating someone our own age, because this particular guy had the emotional maturity of a twenty-five year old. Mmhmm. So, there you have it. Can I rest my case?

BGbabe Birthing

Well, here we are at our Dewey Beach Motel, arriving back after a night out. It's simple really. Just your average twenty-something year old girl, birthing another twenty-something. Mmhmm, totally normal.

Are You a Gentle Lover?

Disclaimer: If you are not one of the five people in this picture, then you may or may not hate this blog post.

Here we are. My Camp Schodack gals-Martha, Roberta, Me (Loretta), Bonnie and Amanda. Sioux us if we have fake names.

I've made this statement before. And, I will certainly say it again. Sending me to Camp Schodack was quite possibly the best decision that my parents ever made for me. And, not just because camp taught me confidence, invaluable social skills, and provided me with some of the happiest memories of my life. Camp Schodack did do all of those things, and more. But, camp did something far more life changing for me. It introduced me to some of the best friends of my life, who make a four hour car ride, and spending a weekend in a dirty motel, fit with a pube and discharge covered comforter one of the greatest weekends ever.

This past weekend, my travel companions and I (Schodack besties), hit the road and headed to Dewey Beach, Delaware. I don't know how to write this post, without listing inside jokes. This weekend was literally one really good laugh, after the next. The facebook album entitled, 3...2...1...Go, says it all.

We eat dank ass pizza, and the beached whale special. We drank our body weight at da Rusty Rudder. But, most importantly, we spent our weekend laughing. Real, stomach hurting, little droplets of pee escape (whoops), laughter.

Did we have more fun pregaming in our hotel than we actually did out at bars? (Ehhhh, nahhhh, dang). It's highly possible. Did we play Never Have I Ever, and actually learn new things about each other, even after all these years? Hell yeah!! Learning about each other is in. (c. Amelia). Did we play the question game, otherwise known as every day conversation? Did we feast on The Full Monty at breakfast (which sent us RUNNING to the nearest toilet). And, did Amelia get her wagon master? She sure did.

We were all foul humans this weekend. I won't go into details on this, but I will leave you with a quote inspired from the weekend. A wise woman (Amelia) once said to me, "It's a choice to live your life like a filthy bitch." It's not easy taking a bath in a dirty hotel bathtub, but someone has to do it. Aw yee.

Backwards Dating

As a single, twenty-something gal in New York City, there are certain dating rules that we try and comply with. But, it can get confusing. Because, you see, the rules. They keep changing...

For a long time, I felt pretty okay with a rule that I had made for myself. A simple rule, really. It was this: Don't do it the first time that you hook up with someone. I had my reasons for this rule, all of which were important to me. A famous comedian once joked about his response to women who asked why a guy suddenly stopped speaking to them;"It's simple, he said. Either you slept with them, or you didn't"

But, somewhere in my mid-twenties, my sexual moral compass went slightly astray. I broke my "rule," and I thought to myself: Oh well, fuck it. (Literally). Does this make me a slut or a whore? No. It doesn't. It makes me single, living in a city filled with other single people.

My single friends and I were discussing one night stands at brunch one morning. (How very Sex and the City of us).What came out of our discussion was that, we don't have one night stands/sleep with people the first time we hook up because we are particularly slutty. (We're not). We do it for the same reason that guys probably do. And, the answer is not because, "we can." It's because when you are single, (unfortunately), the opportunity for s-e-x can be scattered far and few between. We've always been taught that when an opportunity comes knocking, we should take it. Right? Well, perhaps that very same theory has been applied to sex.

From the worst case scenario, to the best. Here is what can come from first-time sex in a first-time encounter.

1).Never hearing from the guy again. (A girl can only experience this a couple of times, before she decides it really is not worth it).

2). Only hearing from the guy at two am on weekends. (This is to be expected I suppose. If you give it up the first time, this guy has no reason to think he can't get it from you again, on his terms).

3). The emergence of backwards dating. (Backwards dating is what I refer to as going on a first date with a person who you have already seen naked).

Backwards dating, is like regular dating. It's almost as if that sex never happened between the two of you, and everyone is on their best behavior.You go back to drinks, dinners, and movies. Sometimes without even kissing at the end of a night. And, if and when you do finally do it--it's like that first time never even happened...

This past January, one of my best friends said that her New Year's resolution, was to make choices that she felt okay with the morning after. I kind of love this resolution. Whether you are doing it with strangers on the regular, whether you don't sleep with someone the first time, or if you are in a long term relationship--we each need to do what feels right for us, and make choices that we can live with for many mornings to come.