Guess who's back?

It's my first day back on the job after my four day sick hiatus. Here, in no particular order are the perfect, amazing and hilarious things that have happened to me since my return back to the 4th grade.

1. In math class while giving a lesson on division, I was showing 5 divided by 5 equals 1 using a visual. Unfortunately, the visual I chose was less than ideal. I drew 5 circles, with 1 dot in the middle of each circle. What I failed to notice...was that I accidentally drew 5 breasts on the board to a group of nine year old boys. The boys exchanged glances with each other. Sam raised his hand (while rubbing his own chest) and said, "Um--what are those drawings supposed to be?" You know those times when you know that you need to be a grown up, but it's just so hard to be? Yes, that was one of those times. I had to excuse myself for a moment, while I stepped outside to laugh at the five tits I had just drawn on the whiteboard as part of my math lesson.

2. I was once again coerced into a game of Squeeze the Lemon with my students during recess. Yes, I again fell prey to peer pressure. (Can you even call it peer pressure, when it is not a group of peers pressuring you?) I got sandwiched between Fred and Pedro. Let's just call it even and say that their body weight is equivalent to the weight of me, a small family of orphans, and a baby elephant.

3. Two students in my class asked me if I was absent at all last week. Did you see me or did you not see me for four days straight last week?

4. During reading time, we read a book that used the word fad. I asked the students if they knew what a fad was. I was giving examples of fads from my own youth such as slap bracelets and pogs. One of my students asked me if poodle skirts and saddle shoes were a fad when I was a kid? Was I born in 1951? I didn't think so.

5. And lastly, during recess--Sam feeling frustrated with some of his classmates during a game of tag, stepped into the middle of the playground, and screamed on the top his lungs, "DAAANGNABBIT!" For the record, it's pretty difficult to take someone seriously who uses the word "dangnabit" as a word to release frustration." Maybe next time he should try yelling the word fuck instead.