Ever notice that the people who run universities are mindless idiots? If your mother, father, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, cousin, wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend are in this position, then I hope I have not offended you--but none the less--I stand true to my statement.
Today I met with my advisor at grad school. Almost like a check-up at the doctor, this was supposed to be a routine visit, relatively painless. I did not expect to leave my advisor's office in tears ready to punch a small child in the face. No, no--that feeling is reserved solely for the way I used to feel after returning from a math tutoring session. Emotionally fragile and ready to punch someone in the face. I. AM. LIVID. I have been in graduate school since September and just tonight in APRIL, I was told that I would need to take two undergraduate courses, one in math and one in science. But wait, didn't I graduate college three years ago? Oh yeah, I thought so too. Math and Science! My most favorite subjects! If you don't note the sarcasm, then you will be the one I punch in the face.
Let me put something in perspective for you. Math and I are like rubbing alcohol and a giant open wound on my finger, Math and I are like the Yankees and the Red Sox, like suede shoes on a rainy day--we just don't mix. Math and I have had an extremely tumultuous relationship over the past two decades. In the 6th grade I was moved out of "regular" math with all the "regular kids," and was transported into "low math." Aka...freakazoid central. I was mortified, and begged to be switched back out into "regular math." My wish was granted, and that was where I would stay for the next five years...just struggling to pass. Literally. In the 11th grade I passed Algebra II (the course) by just TWO POINTS. I was this close to repeating Algebra II. Against my will senior year, I was moved into remedial math (and even met my 12th grade boyfriend there.) Isn't that so sweet? The story doesn't end there. I moved onto college where I was only required to take ONE math course as an English major. I had to take that course THREE TIMES in order to pass. Yes, you could say that I am moderately deficient at math..unless it's recalling years, dates, ages, and calculating how old you were in the 90's...but other than that--ya got me!
I finally thought that as a 25 year old, with almost three whole years of teaching experience under my belt, I had finally put my math woes behind me. At long last I thought that the days of taking useless and irrelevant classes were a thing of the past, kind of like my blue asphalt jeans and yak-pak. An actual part of my job is to console children, and ease their anxiety when math feels hard for them. I am the teacher that says things like, "When I was your age math was really hard for me too!" My students always respond just as I used to. With a roll of their eyes, they say..."Yeah right! You're a math teacher." Little do they know that those very words, "you need to take another math course" brought a chill to my spine, and actual tears to my eyes.
Apparently, my grades were not high enough in the ONE math and ONE science course I took in college. In order to be a certified New York State teacher, I need to be proficient in both of these areas. Let me tell you something, I have taught math to 4th graders just fine. You do not need to be a rocket scientist to figure out that 2/4 is equivalent to 1/2. So now here I am INFURIATED that I have already paid my yearly salary to this institution and sacrificed hours of my time, only to be told that I need to repeat two courses that I already took (and passed) in college five years ago. No, it's fine. Let me just add in two more classes that meet two times a week into my schedule of teaching full time and taking graduate courses at night. It's great, I don't need to have friends, fun or a life. I HATE MY ADVISOR, I HATE MATH AND SCIENCE COURSES, AND I HATE ALL OF YOU.
love ya guys!
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