April Vacation Happenings

And it's been a while...

Oh, ohhhh---for the longest time...

It's been a long time, long time--shouldn't have left you...

If you know any of the lyrics posted above I will love you forever.

It sure has been a while! I'm sorry that I have not been blogging as often as I'd like to, it's just that I'm amidst my April Vacaaaaation, and I've gotten a little bit busy, mkay?

If you are just dying to know what I've been up to the past week keep right on reading!

April break began last Tuesday afternoon at 3 pm, and boy did I feel relieved! Twelve whole days of me time, I could not wait! Wednesday-Friday I was home in New Jersey to celebrate Passover with my family. On Wednesday night, we had a Seder at our house. My family's Seder consisted of the following events:

1. My mom, better known as Philyfish or Little Mimi Girl, is a nursery school teacher. For each plague mentioned in the Seder, she also had a prop to go along with it. You better believe that my mom had prop "boils," which she covered her face with.

2. My grandma who is ninety-four years old came into the family room as I was watching an episode of 90210. (Shocking, I know). In this particular episode Brandon Walsh (who is white) was talking with a new African American neighbor that had just moved in. My grandma Eva, the sweetest lady in all the land, said in her frighteningly loud voice, "It's so nice that the blacks and the whites can be friends." Um? Anyone? (Although to be fair, someone very wise said to me--when you're 94 you can pretty much say anything you want.) Ya know what? I think that's a pretty fair statement.

3. Family gatherings are usually the time when my dad likes to share his favorite farting stories. He makes himself cry with laughter. The punchline of every story is that he "blasts" my mom out of their room with his farts.

4. My mom brought the cardboard cutout of my sister (Yes, we actually have a cardboard cut out of my younger sister), to our family dinner table. Heather is studying abroad this semester in Rome, and now as my mom said, "she could have dinner with us." Sweet, yes? Weird and creepy? Okay.


The rest of my time at home were spent trailing Little Mimi Girl around the house. Kid sister, kid sister, kid sister, kid sister--wherever I go--you're gonna go! (Remember that commerical?) Well that was me, regressing to that of a toddler, I literally did not leave my mom's side for forty-eight hours. I'm pretty sure that she loved every minute of it.

Upon arrival back into the city, I had dinner with some friends--BeccaBabe, Rweissy, Galzbabi and Ffarts. Later that night Beccababe and I played rockband with her brother and some friends. Becky was unreal on the drums, and with me on vocals--we were pretty much an all star team. Saturday afternoon my teen tour campers came and visited me at my apartment. Is it weird that I had seven high school kids over my 20-something apartment? Don't answer that. Saturday night I attended a birthday dinner for my good pal Derek, and boy did we have fun! Sunday was spent walking around the East Village and Soho with my friend Josh. Monday, I got to spend the day with Beccababe, who is also a teacher on spring vacation. Tuesday, I bought Tori Spelling's new book, Mommywood. In her new "tell all," she admits that she regrets her boob job. It's about time, cause shots of her cleavage actually make me feel sick to my stomach. On Tuesday, I had to go back home to New Jersey for a dentist appointment. While filling my car up with gas, I was hit on by a gas station attendant, who was quite handsome. I just may have to get my gas pumped there more often. (If ya know what I mean-- hehehohoho).

On my way back to the city, something mildy embarrassing happened. Little Mimi Girl was dropping me off at the train station. As we pulled in, I recognized one of my high school friend's moms. I told my mom that I thought I saw this boy (from high school--who may have also been my 7th grade boyfriend) in the car. A few minutes later I arrived on the platform. Mimi Girl waited for me on the other side of the tracks. She must have seen me hugging a tall gentleman. She then took it upon herself to step out of her car, and shout, into the pitch darkness, "LAUR, IS THAT JORDAN ______ YOU'RE HUGGING?(I never use last names). Why me?

Today was quite a busy day...I had to take a standardized test to prove that I was proficient in science so that I would not have to fulfill that idiotic requirement that my graduate school placed on me. What I found out is this: I am actually not proficient in science. I also found out that I failed the test by two points. But, I am not disappointed. The material on that test I had not seen since 1999. I'm actually moderately impressed with myself that I walked into that test blindly without having seen this material in ten years. You might say that I still failed, but I say--wow, I retained 48 percent of what I learned in 10th grade. Not bad Lauren, not bad at all.

And so, with just a few more exciting days of vacation left... I bid you adue. (Ok, I definitely did not spell adue right). So, sioux me.