Journals

Hallelujah! I am FINALLY freeeee of the sickness that kept me cooped inside of my 4 x 4 foot apartment for five whole days. On the fifth day of sickness, I decided that enough was enough! After days of fever, night sweats, and chills--I finally agreed to let my mom (better known as Little Mimi Girl) come, pick me up and take me back to New Jersey with her. Within minutes of being under my mom's nurturing care, I felt ions better. Mimi Girl fed me soup and provided me with the chance to sleep in a room that was not previously infested with my germs.

With some extra time on my hands, I decided to clean out some of the crap collecting in my childhood room. Doing this always brings back sentiments and memories from my past. Any time I go home, I tend to feel very nostalgic. (Who me?) I maaay have even pulled out my high school year book, (Once again re-confirming my peaking at 18 theory). After laughing out loud alone in my room for about an hour, I realized that I wasn't done yet--I was ready for more.

I decided to look through the box where all of my journals that I have been keeping for the past thirteen years are stored. One day I would love to publish these journals for all to see. (Undoubtedly sexually exploiting the shit out of some boys I know).

Below is a list of some of the interesting discoveries I made while rifling through thirteen years of my own history.

Interesting Discovery # 1

I received more love letters in the 1995-1996 school year, than I have in the past fourteen years combined.

Interesting Discovery # 2

I started wearing a bra on April 4, 1995. I know this because I saved the bra's original tag, and wrote on it..."The day I got my first bra, 4/4/95." Additionally, the bra size was 26. I didn't even know that they made bras that small. Since I weighed about 44 pounds, and would not actually need to wear a bra until the year 2000--that first bra (which you better believe had an elastic band-- did not have a cup size.)

Interesting Discovery # 3

In my later years of journaling, I wrote a lot about boys.(Shocker, I know). I wrote about my relationships with them, both emotionally and sexually. I wish I had seen He's Just Not That Into You in my late teens and early 20's. The phrase, "_____(insert boy's name here) was going to call me, but he told me, that by accident he fell asleep." (This phrase was seen rampantly throughout my journals). If only I knew what I know today. Fucking fell asleep, my ass.

Interesting Discovery # 4

I practiced grinding with my girlfriends to get ready for the junior prom.

Interesting Discovery # 5

With the exception of location: high school/college/real world/job--it would be hard to tell exactly how old I am in any given entry written after the year 2000. I write like a sixteen year old girl in every entry I write.

Interesting Discovery # 6

I used to make lists of people that I wanted to invite to parties when my parents were away. I would eliminate three to four people off a list of 115 people, and feel really satisfied that I had cut the list down.

Interesting Discovery # 7

If you are a boy, and I liked you at some point in the past, (and we talked on AOL--not aim).then there is definitely an AOL conversation between the two of us printed, folded and taped to a page of my journal.

Interesting Discovery # 8

Every year for fourteen summers, when camp would end, the first entry back home-- without fail, began with "I want to die."

Interesting Discovery # 9

"Being nineteen isn't all it's cracked up to be." (I must have forgotten how awesome being nineteen is supposed to be).