Snow Day

Oh, how I love you snow days! Oh, how I love you even more, finding out at eleven am the day before! When Ma-wa imed me this morning (via gchat of course) with a link to ABC News stating that all NYC schools were closed, I almost cried with joy. I immediately texted BGbabe (who is also a teacher) to see if she had heard the news yet at her school, on the Upper West Side. She had not yet heard--and I was just delighted to be able to spread the joy.

Perhaps the best part of my day was actually getting to tell my students the excellent snow day news. I remember fondly, that feeling as a child, and dang--it was a good one. What could be better than knowing in advance that the school day you thought you had, has been cancelled. The answer is nothing. Nothing is better.

Before, I let my students know that they would get to revel in the glory of a snow day, I decided to fuck with them first. As far as teachers go, I am not the strictest, so when my "stern" (bitchy) voice comes out, I mean business. I told my class that I had some very serious news to tell them, and that they needed to quiet down immediately. Before, the words could even escape from my mouth, the following questions blurted out from my students' mouths...guesses if you will, as to what the nature of my "serious news" could be.

"Are you pregnant?" No. (I sure as hell hope not).

"Are you getting married?" No. (I sure as hell hope so--one day far in the future that is).

"Do you want to get married?" I-er-um.. But,You're too young to get married, you're only a teenager! (Yes, my students think that I'm a teenager). Ok you guys, I'm not getting married.

But perhaps my favorite question of all came from Colin, who thoughtfully cocked his head to the side and said, "Did you get your first kiss or something?" Yes, Colin! At the tender age of twenty-six, I have just gotten my first kiss, and have decided to share this momentous event with all of you, my eight year old students.

Finally, after the big announcement was made (which by the way, had a priceless reaction, and reconfirms everything that I love about kids)--There would be no school tomorrow--and I was not knocked up, engaged or otherwise. Gus came up to me with a genuine look of wonderment on his face. I asked him if everything was okay. He said, "Lauren, (Yes, the students call me Lauren--it's a Quaker school), Are you dating anyone right now?" Excuse me?
Caught off guard, I was not sure how to respond. I suppose I could have told Gus about how I puke on dinner dates, and that I occasionally make out with random strangers at bars, but I didn't quite think that answer was the one that he was looking for. Also, I value my job, and so I chose to stay silent. That's right, I literally ignored Gus, turned my back to him, and walked away.

As a child, I always had a general curiosity of my teacher's personal lives, but the level of questioning that my students think they are entitled to about my personal life borderlines on absurd. I would say that I've had it, but according to my students, I'm only a teenager, so what do I know anyways?