Number Two

It seems that every Sunday morning I have developed a ritual where I say two things to myself.
1.) I am never drinking again,
2). Someone please take my phone away from me when I'm drinking.

And just like that, I'm a new woman all week...until Friday night.

This morning I am here to discuss number two. (My point, not poop). Okay. Fess up. Put your thumbs up if this has happened to you. You wake up from a hazy, drunken sleep, unsure of how you made it into your bed, slowly piecing together the events that took place the night before. Once you are conscious, you glance at your phone to see if you have any missed calls/texts...and that is when you discover it/them. THE TEXT MESSAGE(S) YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE SENT! I'm not talking about conversational texts between friends, or if you are like me, and you text your best friend eight times in one hour asking her,"where are you?" (Even when you are at the same bar).

No, I am talking about something far more dangerous. I am talking about that inappropriate person that you should NOT be texting at three am. Maybe it's the person who you should be playing hard to get for, the person that you are trying not to seem like a needy beast for, perhaps an old boyfriend or girlfriend. Whoever that person may be for you, we are all guilty of this. We have all woken up with a fresh start...(until we glance at our phones). We scan through our calls and texts from the previous night. I always hold my breath when looking through the SENT text messages. My stomach flip-flops, and I know that I have done something irreversible. And, so I leave you on this note saying, someone please take my phone away from me when I'm drinking, and this time...I mean it.