Wing Women

Wingwoman: (Noun) A girl (woman) one brings along to single outings (Ie: bars) in attempt to meet members of the opposite sex. In my time as a single lady, I've had many a wing woman. Some of my most favorite wingwomen are Rweissypantz (Rach) and Galzbabi, (Lindsay) whose selfless mission remains constant to land me a bar boyfriend for the night. Sometimes their attempts are successful, and other times they are not, but the end result is always the same; these friends live vicariously through me and my singlehood, as they are safe and secure, knowing that they don't have to meet a whole bunch of drunken idiots looking to get laid.

That being said, what these girlfriends of mine are lacking as wingwomen, is that neither of them are single. So while their efforts are greatly recognized and appreciated, it is just not the same without them actually being in the trenches with me. Besides, there is nothing like two guys and two girls chatting it up at the bar, only to find out that one person in the group has a significant other. This is a sure fire way to kill the wingman/wingwoman dynamic. Now answer me this: What single person wants to talk all night to someone with a boyfriend/girlfriend? Say it together, with me: No one.

I have one wingwoman in my life, who never lets me down. She hails originally from Westchesta (The Bestchesta). We met at sleepaway camp, and solidified our bestfriendship after working together as co-counselors for two summers in a row. You may know her as Becky, but she is my BGbabe. Becky and I make a great duo; and needless to say, we always have the best time together. Both of us are very un-shy, and neither of us give a flying fook about what strangers at a bar think of us. What this looks like is this: Becky and I can often be found doing some hideous, but entertaining dance move at any given moment. As my # 1 wingwoman, Becky always has my best interests at heart. For example, on Thursday night when a 6 foot 2 man accidentally stepped on my foot (My foot is now bruised), Becky tapped him on the shoulder, and let him know that he had accidentally stepped on me. In turn--I got a Bacardi and diet coke out of the deal. Not too shabby.

Both teachers, on spring break. (BG teaches the gifted and talented, and I teach Special Ed--our jobs, literal opposites), we decided to go out on the town on Thursday night, and really let loose. Maybe even enter a wet t-shirt contest or two. It's Spring break baby, we weren't ruling anything out.

Our friend Dave had said, we were out cruising for c-o-c-k. However, this was actually not the case. Becky and I were merely out to drink a few brewskies, and possibly do some grinding. Cock cruising was not on the agenda.

However, every so often, while out being wingwomen together, something beautiful happens. This instance that I am referring to, is when we (as single ladies) find two single gents, both who are attractive and funny. Thus was the case for me and my wing-womaned bitch, Becky on Thursday night. The night took an interesting (and hilarious) turn, that will be a tale for another time. But, just know this: Wing women stick together. We never leave a woman behind. And, if I ever need a dancing fanatic, beer guzzling partner in crime--I know just who to call. Thanks BG, lylat.