Earth Day

Long ago, (four years to be exact) before I began my career as a teacher, the sight of small children working, playing, laughing, and learning together made my heart grow warm and fuzzy. I couldn't wait to jump right into the pool of education! The sound of children's laughter was like music to my ears.

Well, here I am four years later...and now when I see large groups of children heading my way, I run... in the exact opposite direction. Okay, so maybe teaching has slightly jaded my perspective of children. But--hey, you try spending 165 days a year with the same group of eight year olds who whine, tattletale and pick their noses like it's nobodies business. Just like family, I have grown to love them, but just the same, I also want to hit a few of them from time to time.

Today in honor of Earth Day, (Earth Day was the worst day--now we sip champagne when we're thirsty?) Sorry--my inner jukebox beckoned, the 3rd and 4th grades had an Earth Day trash cleanup. Again, the Lauren of yesteryear would have seen children working together to do good for the earth, and smiled. However, the Lauren of 2010 is absolutely exhausted. Who knew a walk around the block could be so mentally debilitating?

My students were fighting over who got to pick up which garbage, and place it in their individual trash bag. Really?! Shut the fuck up, and pick up the god damn trash. Papa John's menus were scattered across the streets. One student, with the menu in his hand, took out his cell phone and tried to place a delivery order. Sorry Charlie, cell phone confiscated. In the background, Sophie asked why we couldn't order pizza from Papa Joans.

Nick picked up a Trojan condom wrapper. Nick asked, "What's a trog-gen?" I told Nick that I had no idea. And what could have even been better? There was a used condom on the ground. Alexis picked up the condom (in her gloved hand), and asked me what it was. I said, "Ohhh Alexis, this is an ancient coin holder. Now let's throw it away, okay?" And so, our day continued, children helping the earth, children picking up litter, and children arguing over who got to throw out the ancient coin holder in their individual trash bag.