I understand that in the grand scheme of life, being in 7th grade still means you are very small. Being in 7th grade means that you have the potential to look uncomfortable in your own body for at least another three years, (and if you are me, make that five). I know that in 7th grade you don't look your best. In fact, you probably look your worst-I sure did. I was in that really pretty, I'm growing out my bangs phase of bangs. The bangs hit exactly at my eyes. I parted them directly down the middle of my forehead. I thought I looked great. I wore a necklace around my neck that said, "Hippies Rule." (It was 1996). And oh yeah, I begged my orthodontist to give me braces.
Despite all of these things, I had a genuine attack of nostalgia today. And for once, not for my own youth--but for somebody elses. The school that I teach at goes until the 8th grade. The first group of students that I ever taught are now 7th graders. Walking into the middle school for a fair, I saw my first class. Teenagers. I nearly shat myself. Well first, I nearly cried, then I nearly pooped. Some of my former students look so grown up, it's actually scary. They have gotten so tall, and their faces are in that in-between stage of still looking like children, but also slowly morphing into adults phase, but most terrifying of all-- the girls have boobs. I know that thirteen year olds may not seem old in the scheme of life, but they do when you teach these thirteen year olds when they were just nine year olds.
It is not (nor has it ever, nor will it ever) be easy for me to acknowledge the fact that I am growing up(slash grown up). But ask me to acknowledge the fact that everyone else is growing up too?? Not gonna happen. Similarly to my blog entry entitled The 90's, this is new for me. This is really the first time that I'm cognisant of seeing people that I grew up with getting older. All of my favorite celebs from the 90's are kind of old now. It is not easy to watch people older than you grow up, and at that same token, it is not easy watching those younger than you grow up too.
This can't be a new emotion, and I'm sure teachers all over the country feel this way when they see old students. It must make them feel old. Funny how you notice everyone else getting older, but you feel like you are staying the same...
And, as much as it makes me sad to see my old kids growing up, I kind of loved it a lot. That little boy who once brought me in a baggy of his toenails is all growned up...
About six months ago, I was at Mr. Chu's, my family's favorite Chinese food restaurant back at home. A place where you are bound to run into atleast 87,663 people that you know. (Obviously, adding to my list of reasons why I love it there). On my way out the door, I bumped right into my 4th grade teacher. While she did not recognize me (Hey, it had been like 15 years), she did recognize my mom. She was able to put two and two together. Her reaction? She fell against the wall. She closed her eyes and said, "Don't even tell me how old you are." Then she opened one eye and said, "Okay, tell me how old you are." I replied, with my age. She closed her eyes shut again. Poor Mrs. B. On a much tinier scale, I kind of get it. And still, I will keep my fingers crossed that one day fifteen years from now, I will run into someone that I once knew when they were very small.
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