Wanted:

With summer rapidly approaching, (Schoooool's out for summer as of June 10th!). A couple of thing come to mind. For the first time in fifteen summers, (that's the summer of '94 for all you math buffs), I am not going anywhere! This is the first time since fifth grade that school is ending, and I am NOT packing my bags for sleep away camp! (or a Hawaiian/Alaskan teen tour). Yes, that's right--at 25 years old, it is finally time to stay put, right here in New York City--and I am very excited! In the mean time, I have been rapidly searching on Craig's List for a summer job of sorts. Camp Schodack was job security! This is the first time that I need to look for a summer job in eight years. This has been a bit of a difficult process, seeing as I do not wish to have a job having anything to do with children. You might say, I need this three month break from nine year olds.

I have not have found my summer dream job just yet...However, while searching on Craig's List, I did run into a very interesting posting. Under the Wanted section, the posting was listed as: Man Looking for Supple Breast. I must admit--I was intrigued. A man describing himself as "normal" posted an ad in search of a supple breast, for which he could gather some breast milk. Also, included in the ad was a disclaimer: You need not worry if you are not currently lactating, as this "normal man"will work with you to help produce milk. (I am terrified thinking about what he does to help aid this process). And, oh. He is looking for the breast milk for himself,(he's thirsty). He is NOT helping a lactaid deficient woman. What the fuck, people!? There are actually ads, on a reputable website, for a lactating breast!?!?! And, with that being said...I may need to expand my search for the summer job of my dreams.