Sometimes Twins Hook Up

If you understand the deep meaning behind this blog's title, you can laugh, and then thank Ryanruss (for his creative genius) and the Berlowi (for existing).

Last night my friend Nate asked me if I ever hoped that awkward, embarrassing and uncomfortable things would happen to me so that I would have something funny to blog about. The answer to that questions is yes. All the time. There have been many times when something awkward, uncomfortable or completely humiliating is happening to me, and all the while in my head, I'm thinking: Wow. This will make for a dang good blog entry.

Case and point. On Thursday, one of my best friends found out that she "matched " for the medical residency that she wanted. (The hospital chose her, she chose them). Truthfully, it sounds more like sorority rush to me--but I ain't judgin! A surprise party was thrown yesterday afternoon at an outdoor beer garden in her honor.

Hmm...now hypothetically speaking of course, I may have had a late night rendezvous with one of her medical school friends back in November. Hypothetically speaking of course, he may have also been an identical twin. Even back in November, I knew that I had absolutely no idea which twin was which, but had remembered their names based on their outfits. I think it is perfectly fine not to be able to tell the difference between identical twins that you don't know very well. However, once saliva has been swapped, not knowing which twin was which just seemed tacky. I assumed that if and when I saw this guy again, it would just be the two of us, (so I would know it was him) or, I would have my friend send me a secret text, preparing me of their outfit choices for the night. Okay, Lauren--hook up with an identical twin, not a problem. Yup, unfortunately it would not be quite that simple.

My friend's party was mostly our high school friends, and a group of her college friends. (Therefore, I did not anticipate the arrival of any unidentified twins). I was busy drinking my German beer, happy to be outside wearing flip-flops, when I saw one of the twins walk into the garden. But, holy fuck. Which one was he? I immediately tried to find my friend, but she was not to be found anywhere.

Help! What do I do? If I don't go over and say hi then that would be really rude of me, but if I do go over and say hi, and it's not the brother that I "know." Then, well--that's just plain old embarrassing too. So, instead I did what any mature twenty-six year old would do. I put my sunglasses on. (Really good disguise, right? He'll never recognize me in my generic Ray Ban aviators).

I hid. I hid until I found my friend, and made sure to keep my back to the twin at all times. When I finally found my friend, she told me to relax--it was the "other twin." Crisis averted. But, I think that I learned a pretty valuable lesson here, and that is: If you make out with an identical twin, and you see him at social gathering, make sure you have brought a pair of sunglasses with you, just in case.