If you're single in New York City, in the year 2011, you are probably no stranger to the phenomenon of online dating. The kind of awesome thing about online dating is that you are meeting people who you would otherwise not normally meet. The not so awesome thing about online dating is that some of these people that you're meeting are freaks. Whether you are on a dating website, or you know someone that is on one, you are aware of the impact that online dating has on 2000's dating culture. However, what I'd be willing to bet that you don't know is all of the mysterious intricacies that lie within this realm of dating. Some of these dating stories come from my own experiences, and some are from friends. All of these dating tales share one thing in common. They make you ask yourself--Why me?
A good friend of mine is currently on Jdate. She was e-mailing back and forth with a guy that had checked out her profile. This particular guy seemed a little bit socially off to her through his e-mails, but she thought--okay, I'll give this guy a chance. (I'm sorry ladies, but if his e-mails are weird, then he's probably weird too). As a way to break the ice about taking their relationship from e-mail to the phone, this guy asked my friend to rate her conversational skills on scale of 1-10. Yes, he actually asked that, and expected an actual numeric response. This should have been a big red flag to fore go the phone conversation immediately. But, my friend proceeded with the phone call. Once on the phone, the first question he asked her was, "Do you have a police record?" IS THIS REALLY THE CALIBER OF MEN THAT WE ARE EXPECTED TO DATE?!
A couple of years ago after a brief stint on Jdate, I left the website after a three date dating disaster. I went out with the same guy three times, and after our third date, I knew that it needed to end. After sending an "I'm sorry, this is not going to work out text," we went our separate ways. Two years later, on a different dating website, this same guy found my profile, and e-mailed me, "You are so cute, I would love to have the chance to meet you!" Mmhmm. You did meet me. And, you paid for three of my meals. Idiot.
Another strange phenomenon on Jdate is pen-paling. This one literally boggles my mind. If you are on a dating website, it means that you are looking to date. Right!? At the very least, it means you are looking to get some booty. And, you can't do any of those things unless you meet in person. My friends and I have all experienced this one: Guys will e-mail back and forth with you. They will even text and call you continuously, but they never initiate plans to actually meet you in real life. I already have plenty of people that I like to converse with via phone, text and gchat. I do not need to be doing this with a stranger who has no intentions of meeting me. In one instance I e-mailed back and forth with one guy seven or eight times. He was clearly interested in talking to me, as he continued to ask questions, and "laugh" at my e-mail banter. I finally said to myself, enough was enough. I decided to take the reigns on this one. I wrote him an e-mail and included my phone number, writing that we should get drinks this week. His next e-mail back was, "Oh Lauren, you're so funny." Yep, wasn't being funny with that one.
My personal favorite (and by favorite, I actually mean the worst date that I've ever been on in my life) was with a guy who looked nothing like his pictures. I am not shallow. Okay, I am thirty-eight percent shallow. Looks are not everything, but they do count for something. The man in his pictures was breathtaking, and shirtless. (Shirtless pics are a big no-no, in my book. But this man looked THAT good). The man that I met? Not so much. He was a good fifty pounds heavier than his pictures, and bald. Perhaps these pictures were taken of him in 1998? I am not sure. But, when he arrived at the bar, he looked nothing like his pictures, and I didn't recognize him. When he walked over to me and said, "Lauren?" I thought he was the host asking to seat me. Whoops.
Online first date booty calls. Not okay. I am not knocking booty calls. If you are single, they are needed, and serve a wonderful purpose. It is one thing to meet up with someone late at night who you know. But, it is quite another thing for someone to suggest a first date meeting at one am on a Saturday night. No, I am not meeting you at one am, after seven Bacardi and diet cokes. With all of these disasters why do I continue? Well, it's simple really. I continue for all of the people out there who have actually met someone they really care about. Apparently, these websites really work! And, as my mom says, "it only takes one..."
No comments:
Post a Comment