Wacky Hat Day

Greetings from Wacky Hat Day! Oh. And, Happy Bat-Mitzvah to me, fourteen years ago today! Though it is only Tuesday, some adorable, hilarious and disgusting things have already occurred this week in school. And, as always...I thought I'd share them here.

Every Monday, I work at my school's afterschool program. (Afterschool is the actual bane of my existence). But, a girl's gotta pay off her grad school loans, I always say.

One of my responsibilities as an afterschool teacher is to prepare snack for the students. Eric, a second grader, was helping me to set up snack. After unsuccessfully attempting to pour, and spilling his fourth drink of fruit punch all over the floor (and on my shoes), I decided that it was time for him to help with something else. I did not lose my cool, or my patience (despite my sticky, fruit punch soaked feet), and I asked Eric if he wanted to help me with something else. He must have appreciated the patience that I had shown him. Eric looked up at me with his seven year old eyes and said, "I love you. Not like people love each other on the movies, but I just regular love you." My heart sort of melted. I thanked Eric, and told him that was very nice of him to say. Well, a seven year old loves me. Now, I just gotta work on the twenty-seven year olds...

Ever spent the better part of your afternoon trying not to vomit? Well, that was me, yesterday at afterschool. A second grade boy named Dan shit his pants. Dan didn't tell anyone that he had done this. ( I don't think this is because he was embarrassed, Dan lives in his own world eighty-four percent of the time, and most likely had not yet realized that he was sitting in his own feces). Dan walked around the room, playing games, and chatting with other kids REEKING of shit. Every time Dan walked by me, I gagged. Thankfully, Dan's mom came to pick him up shortly after the shit incident. I did not have to investigate any further, and I could breathe out of my nose once more.

Today is Wacky Hat Day. The kids arrived in their wackiest head attire. There is something moderately amusing about teaching a class in your shower cap, looking out at a sea of students in wizard hats, bunny ears, and various wigs and headgear. Some of the kids took Wacky Hat Day one step further, and treated the day more like "Wacky Hair Accessory/Contraption Day. One boy in my class arrived to school wearing an actual lampshade on his head. To each their own, buddy.

What is this place where I come each day? Where kids confess their adoration for you, shit their pants near you, and cast spells on you from underneath their wizard cap? Well, it's school. And, I'm here Monday through Friday, eight am to three pm.