Sex Sounds

As a sexually active human for the past ten years or so, I thought that I had had my share of wild and crazy times. And yet, never before in my life have I heard the sounds and noises that have recently woken me from my place of deep sleep.

Yes. The sound of two people doing it so intensely in the apartment above me has woken me, countless nights, from a deep slumber. These sex sounds are so loud and intense, that I literally cannot believe that I am a witness to this. And, what's more: The noises come through the wall so clearly, it's hard to believe that I am not physically present in the room with them.

The man doing it in the apartment above me is named David. (I know this because I have heard his name moaned at record breaking volume). I do not know the name of David's lady friend. I suppose this is because I have not heard him scream her name on the top of his lungs. David's lady friend is like a record of sorts. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (Said at bullet speed, and at great volume). Followed by, "Daaaaaa-vid. Daaaaaa-vid. David. David. David. David. David."(Repeat. And increase tempo). I won't get into the deep moans or the explicit language that I hear. But, the words fuck and me are used. Repeatedly. Instead, I will extend a hearty Mazel Tov to this couple. They sure sound like they are having a great time up there. And, I know this for a fact. Because I am awake for all of it, every night, always.