Guess Who's Back?

It's officially been one week since my return back to the third grade, from jury duty. I won't lie. I miss jury duty. (A lot). But, mostly, I miss a life where waking up at nine am on a week day was acceptable, and taking an hour and half for lunch each day was encouraged. As always, upon my return to elementary school, some humorous events have occurred. Below you will find, some tales of a third-grade nothing. (Shoutout to Judayy Blume).

1. I overheard a group of my students discussing 50cent. Their conversation went something like this, "You know, 50cent is a very brave man. He's been shot nine times!" For the record, most of my students cannot tie their own shoelaces, cannot tell time, and don't know how to spell their own last names. But, don't you worry! They know that 50cent was shot nine times.

2. When going to the school book fair, Michael asked me if he had enough money with him to buy a book that cost "twenty nine, zero, zero dollars."

3. I was teaching my math class, as a 5th grade sex-ed class was going on simultaneously, loudly out in the hall. I heard the teacher's end of the conversation, "A white, creamy substance will come out of the tip of the penis, once puberty begins. This will happen frequently." (She then launched into a lesson about wet dreams--which by the way-- still baffle me). Following this lesson was a chorus of, "I hope that never happens to me."

4. While playing football during recess, Andrew kept shouting at the others, "It's out of balance! It's out of balance, stop the play!! It's out of balance."

5. And, lastly. I recently received a phone call from one of the parents whose son I teach in math class. She called to ask where I had been for the past two weeks. (FYI: I sent a letter home letting the parents know that I would be on jury duty. However, because I have often seen her son's shoes in the middle of the hallway, I didn't quite expect that letter to make it home to his parents). I told this mother that I had been selected to be on grand jury, and had been serving for the last two weeks. She replied with a laugh, and said "Oh, that makes so much more sense." Matthew told us that you were in jail."