I take a big risk by blogging so candidly. I am letting people (some who are strangers to me) into my life, in a way that is very personal. And while, I have almost zero problems with sharing the details of my life, (the good, the bad, and the mortifying), it's still scary.
A few months ago, I was on a date with a boy. Over dinner we had gotten into a conversation about writing. Writing is one of my greatest passions. It ranks right up there with Luke Perry, watermelon and ketchup. Writing relieves my stress, and brings me an inner calm, that is hard to verbalize to others. With such a great love, it is only natural that this subject came up, when getting to know someone new. With the mention of my blog, my date asked me for the website. I cringed. I did not want to give it to him, not yet. I wasn't ready for a new person, who I could have been interested in, to see my writing. To run the risk of him being turned off by a drunken tale, or personal tidbit. My BGbabe said it best, "Fisher, guys you want to potentially date don't need to read that you like to poop naked." And, well. She's right. But, despite this risk, I continue on...
Whoever said that dating is easy, has never been single, in New York City, in their mid-twenties. Because simply put: Dating. is. not. easy. Sure, it can be a lot of fun. But, it can also be confusing, stressful, and totally exhausting.
You just never know, and there are no guarantees. The dates that you think go well, the ones with chemistry, and end with a post-date text saying that he can't wait to see you again...turn out to be the guys that you never hear from again. (This phenomenon still baffles me). Note to all boys: Do not text a girl telling her how much fun you had, and how much you can't wait to see her again, if you have no intentions of ever seeing her again. Then there are those guys who you never want to hear from again. (Those who are thirty minutes late to a date, and then talk on their blackberry for twenty-five minutes, while you sit at the table sipping on your water). And of course, you always hear from this group of guys again, say--six text messages in one night.
There are those that you thought things may have ended with, and just when you least expect it, creep back into your life. Or maybe there are those that you wish would creep back into your life. And then, there are just the plain old creeps. It's enough to make you want to throw in the towel. Except for one thing. Every time I sign on facebook, someone else my age is engaged, or married. I have never been one to be influenced by what my peers are doing. But, it is hard not to notice this trend. And, oh yeah. My aunt just called to remind me that in less than three months I will be twenty-seven. (Dating aside, this is scary for many reasons). So yes, thank you for that.
I have a love/hate relationship with my mid-twenties. It is one of mostly love. But the hate part comes with the paradox of how different every one's lives are becoming, though we are all the same age. (Do I accept change, or what)? How do I have close friends that are married? How do I have close friends who are still waking up in stranger's beds...in other states? And, how are we leading these very different lives, in the same city, at the same age? As we get older, the change that takes place is inevitable. Like it or not, (not), this is life.
If there is some sort of conclusion to my darting thoughts, it is this: Dating is hard, but the inner optimist in me, hopes for a rewarding end. And, also this: Change is a part of growing up. It's a part of real life. And, so I will continue to surround myself with friends and familiar faces to make these transitions a little bit easier. And though it may not always be easy. Sometimes, you just gotta stop. drop. and roll, with the punches.
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